Loading

wait a moment

Divorce discussions

Divorce is a very complex procedure and nobody should get through it alone. Where do you get divorce tips? You know that thing that you found shocking? The line your spouse crossed? That act of betrayal that you and everyone you know is shocked and appalled by? The court doesn’t care. Short of provable acts of abuse or addiction they don’t give a shit. Ultimately, the court is there to divvy up property not mete out vengeance. You’re never going to have that Perry Mason moment where your ex gets on the stand and has to admit to his or her douchebaggery. They just want to figure out who’s getting the couch and where the kids go on Christmas.

The more you can organize your own financial documents, the more you will reduce your attorney fees and improve your chances of success. You are going to have to gather and organize a lot of information for your attorney or your case. A good way of organizing the information you find is a financial statement which can be used as a checklist. Many courts have a form financial statement available at the court clerk’s office and sometimes online. If you can obtain this form and fill it out, it will help you gather and organize your financial information. Give it to your lawyer at the first meeting to save time and expense.

People who treat their divorce like a business transaction, and to the extent possible, control their emotions so their decisions are based on their best interests and not their hurt feelings, fare much better. For instance, some people might argue endlessly over values of certain assets, when in reality, if they just compromised they would save in attorney’s fees and time. Sometimes people do prioritize what is most important and spend time and energy arguing over assets that might not have a significant value while ignoring the more valuable parts of the marital estate. Sometimes people get hung up over how something is characterized — for example, they might agree to a one-time cash payment to their spouse but balk if that same payment is labeled “attorney’s fees.” Taking a step back, looking at the big picture, and understanding the cost of fighting as well as potential risks and rewards will serve anyone well during a divorce.

This is a very bad idea for two reasons. First, except in extremely egregious cases, most courts won’t punish your spouse financially for being a bad person. Second, hiring an attorney to punish your spouse will cost you because your attorney will need to increase the number of hours spent on your case. Increased attorney hours means higher divorce costs, and higher divorce costs means there will be fewer assets and cash left for you and your family. Try to take the emotion out of your divorce, and treat your case as a business arrangement. The best revenge is to live well after the divorce is over.

I created DreamsRecycled after my own divorce, to help both men and women like me through their journey. My story is unique as I literally dreamt of the idea in the middle of my own stressful divorce proceedings. What started as the only marketplace specializing in divorce, quickly grew to become the premier one stop resource for all your before, during and after divorce needs. See extra info at DreamsRecycled divorce support.